luckytreasure2

well this week is almost gone and i am glad….the thing about being on a diet is dying for the weigh in day to come to see how much i lost this week…i am keeping busy most of the time and if not i try to sleep….i figured that i lack sleep…and what other way to kill time…lol…as for other things…i had a fight with my idiot ex today….so i changed the ring tone for him…that way when he calls i just dont even bother to look for the phone or not get up to get it….he was a horrible man and i believe he still is…but being horrible does not make one an idiot….so i guess he hit the jackpot when god handed out idiotness….if there is such a word….if i have learned something on this website is that i am worthy of anything….i can do anything and i will win this battle with the weight….i dont need some moron telling me negative things….i have come to a conclusion that once i get rid of the weight i will put my house up for sale and move….dont know where but with a new body should come a new life….between work and the stress that i go thru at work…i dont need a moron on the phone several times per day….. at times i am so stressed out that i dont know where to run to….lol…so lets think this a bit more…stay at the office till 5pm and then work things out one at a time….one more thing…my son gave me a picutre frame with a picture of all of my 4 kids for mothers day and i was just remembering that it has something printed on it….since i am at the office i think that what it says on it goes something like this….”dont bother to complain about the storms, just learn to dance in the rain”…and when you think about it….it is true in anything that happens in your life. its almost time to go so i think that if i have anything else to say it can wait till tomorrow.

good morning everyone…well today i began my 6th week of my new life…i have been losing weight but today when i jumped on the scale i noticed that i had only lost 2lbs…i was hoping for more…but i rather have the 2 than nothing….i dont know why i lost less than the other weeks…the only difference is that on saturday i came to work for a couple of hours and did not bring my breakfast or lunch…i thought i would be out in time to eat…but one thing led to another and i did not get out till 1pm…so i spent all day without eating….when i got home i began to help my son do yard work….as i was sweating i did not want to go in the house and make something to eat…by the time i was done on the outside i cleaned the inside….i was finally done at 7pm and that was the time i ate…yes i ate a bit more than usual but i counted my calories and stayed way below what my allowed intake for the day is…i think i ate too late and too much in one meal…all i know is that i went to bed and my full stomach was bothering me….sunday i spent the day at my sons house and he grilled i think i did great staying under 1700 calories for breakfast, lunch and dinner and i was full…i did not snack or anything like that…when i went to sleep last night i did not have the same problem as the night before….for the last 5 week the last meal for the day for me is at 5pm before i leave my office and since i go to bed early i do not snack at night…i know that what i did on saturday even thought i stayed within my calories was wrong…and i know it was wrong because i could not feel comfortable in bed with a full stomach….who knows if i would have lost more weight if that never happened…this week if i work on saturday i will be more careful….on the other side…it has become second nature to read all the lables in the grocery store…i try to find the ones with the least amount of fat and calories….soon in a few months i should reach my mini goal……yippppppe

well another week has gone by…but the weekends are a bit scary for me…i tend to eat more…though i been always staying under the calorie intake for the day….so this weekend i will try to do things outside my home…do some yard work…a deep cleaning….something to keep me busy…my son asked me to bake something sweet…and i am going to do it with splenda…so as long as i dont have time to sit and think of food i will be ok…being alone does not help much either…but i cant ask him to stay home and keep me company…he needs to be out with his friends and girlfriend….so i sit here and wonder if i can visit my other son and his wife…that should kill at least 4 to 6 hours…how i wish i could really workout without pain…when that becomes a reality i will spend a lot of time at the gym….if i remember correct the last time i saw the doctor he said that for every lbs i lose that will take about 4 to 6 lbs off preassure off the knees…but i have to take one day at a time…and look at losing 10 lbs at a time…i was a bit overwhelmed when i was looking at over 100 lbs….so weekend here i come still determined and still motivated.

i was up for work early…and i decided to try on a pair of pants that i wore on mothers day and it was really tight on me…so i put on the pants and to my surprise they not only fit but they are lose on me…yipppe…i wanted to wake up my son at 4:30 am and tell him but i know he has to be up for school at 6am…that is a pair of pants that will not get much wear from me…when i bought it i thought it would fit…but i was not able to close the zipper…two weeks later it fit but it was so tight that i wore it for a while and i had to take them off….so today i tried and wow…wow and wow…now this is my plan…tonight when i get home i will go into boxes of clothes that i have that are smaller than what i now wear and i will see how long it will be before i can wear them all…i will get rid of the ones that are too big…my sister in law always keeps the larger clothes so when she gains she has them…but that is something i will not do…i am never going to gain this weight again….i want to love myself….on another note…my father told me that he has been using canadian flex seeds…and that is great when you are on a diet….he said it keeps you regular…lol…does anyone have any idea???…

yesterday began my 5th week of my new life…i have lost 21lbs and i cant wait to lose more….its not as hard as i thought i was going to be…yes i count calories but i am so used to it that i dont even think about sweets or to over eat…i will be ok…i can do this…i now eat fruits all the time….and when i really want something sweet i eat a special k bar that only has 90 calories….i walk and i do wall push ups…lol….you guys must think its funny but those are the only ones i can do…i am happy that i found this site because i would not be able to do this without you guys…

well its friday and we have a long weekend…i will be ok but worried that i will have to go to a friends house to log on so i can use my food journal because my computer crashed at home…i will just have to write it all down and keep track that way…monday is my weigh in day and i dont want to gain…i have been working hard at changing my life and i dont want a little thing like that to mess up all my effort…this site has kept me going and motivated to do this on my own without pills or anything else…just hard work and eating the right foods…now dont get me wrong sometimes i eat what i want but i always meassure what i eat and count every calorie that goes in my mouth….never going over what i am allowed…i am so tired of being fat…my new life began on april 27th of this year and on that day i decided i have to do this on my own….if i go back to the way i was i would have failed and i will not allow myself to be a failure…with this new life i sleep really good at night…i dont wake up with stomach aches and i have so much energy….why would i want to change that???…so i will enjoy this long weekend and wait till my weigh in on monday…i am getting closer to the 280’s….i know that must seem a lot to you guys but to me is awesome…once i am there i will wait for the 270’s and so on….in no time at all i will be at my mini goal…thanks to all of you who have helped me so much and have kept me positive and motivated….have a great weekend guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well i had a lunch metting from someone from my corporate office and i over ate, i should not have gone but i could not avoid it. i just got back to the office and i went on my food journal and i can only have 350 calories for dinner, i dont like to limit myself to only 350…but thank god i had 350 for dinner left it could have been worst…i need to find something else to do while i am at work…i sit all day and i think i can be doing something to use up my calories…any ideas???

i dont know where to begin, well last year it was a crappy year and the beginning of this year was the same so i sit and wonder why do i keep going the same way…on april 27th when i said “no more”…i began my new life…too bad i cant leave the drama from my old life behind too…i got home yesterday and i wanted to eat everything in sight…because i noticed a lot of things that were wrong…let me start by saying that i have 4 kids two live in their own house and i have my youngest daughter and my youngest son living with me….anthony is my youngest he is 21 and is going to nursing school…my youngest daughter is candace she is 25 will be 26 in august  and she now lives with me along with my grandaughter and my son in law….here is my problem…my daughter had a job that paid VERY well, but she lost the job with the economy, my son in law is a bum….he does not work and sleeps till noon or past that….i dont mind supporting my daughter and grandaughter but i do mind supporting him….i live on a small farm and there is always something to do….while my son and i are away during the day…my daughter and son in law…make breakfast, lunch and snacks from food that i buy…but here is the catch….they do not clean…i come home to find grease on the stove counters with crap on them sink full of dishes….i say the same thing everyday…”if you use you why dont you clean it”….so i have to clean before i can cook dinner…after dinner i clean the kitchen and it will all start again the next day….but last night i walked in my bedroom and i noticed someone had been thru my things so i asked my grandaughter who was in my bedroom and she said that it was my son in laws sister and her kids…my grandaughter is 5…so i asked her again…why were they in there and she said….grandma they were looking for stuff…so when i asked again what stuff she told me that she did not know…by this time i was furious….his family is not the kind you can trust…they are very shady people…they can not carry a conversation because they are so ghetto…so from there i went into my daughters badroom and OH MY GOD!!!!!!what a pig!!!…the toilet was black and the tub was horrible…i brought it up to her and she said i am always complaining about cleaning….then she went on to tell me that i should not go in her bathroom that if i want to inspect i should look at anthonys bathroom…well i clean my and anthonys bathroom weekly…so it is clean…then she went as far and called everyone in the family…but she did not tell anyone what had happened…she just said mom wants to kick me out of the house…of course everyone in the family knows her hubby does not work…he is 25 and sits around drinking beer all the time…my ex and his brother come over about once a week to help me with the lawn and other things and this bum just sits in the porch watching as they work…so my ex tells me that i should not say anything and clean after them…but do they think i am their maid….i want them gone…but i cant kick them out…they would be on the street…they could probably move in with his mom…but she does not want anyone else there…she has a 3 bedroom house and she lives there with her mother, 2 daughters with 2 son in laws and 5 kids for a grand total of 11 people…but the funny thing is that no one works there either…makes me wonder how they pay their bills….getting back to where i was before i began to vent….i wanted to eat it all….but i had to go sit in my bed for a while and  i thought if i do this i will regret it later…so i got up went to the kitchen cleaned the daily mess and cook….for me it was one onion slices with one green pepper sliced also and i scrambled an egg over it…i had about 200 calories in the whole thing…not bad…went to bed and was up this morning to a horrible storm…and praying that i can keep it going until my daughter finds a job and moves out….all i can do at this point is take one day at a time.

well its monday morning and i just weight in…and i lost another 4 lbs…my computer crashed on saturday morning so sunday i was not able to log in to track my food, but i wrote it all down and counted every calorie…saturday night i went to a birthday party and when it came time for the cake…i went over and filled my plate with fruits and that was my sweet for the day…i also began to swim 30 minutes per day and that is a workout…lol…i am still going strong with this…i am planning to see myself wearing a size12 at the least…its hard to not eat somethings but if i eat those food i will lose the battle…

as i sit on my desk and wonder if it would be possible to lose 100 lbs by feb 17th…that is my birthday and i WOULD LOVE to be 100 lbs lighter by then…i think that as soon as i can walk on the threadmill for an hour and i dont have the knee pains…i will sign up to a gym…since i know that i have so many aches and pains i cant do it yet…but soon enough…kind of weird at my age most want to slow down time…i want it to pass….lol…only time will tell…the main objective is not to give up and to say motivated…wish me luck!!